TruthI sit alone by the fire, listening to the storm I look out of the window and see my past rage by Faces long gone flash past my vision, and I turn my head I don’t want to see the truth, because it hurts My heart quickens when such sights pass I feel like a dagger has been twisted to the hilt Into my chest, where my soul rests I hate the truth, for the truth is pain The events of my past nauseate me, and I wish I were someone else I wish I had not made so many foolish mistakes A voice chants in my head; Your life isn’t a mistake, it’s a learning experience I hate that voiceTruth
Nothing but others’ words
I live by their passions
I read
listen
HOPE
According to what they find
To be
Passionate
about
.
The Glory of God is Man Fully Alive
Is screamed to me from my own
Heart
I know it to be the truth
I yearn to live by it moment by moment
Yet, am I?
Am I living what life was meant to be?
Am I bringing others along?
Or am I still sitting here
Waiting for Godot?
We were . . .
Meant to wait?
For . . .
For what?
Fighting for real life
It’s hard to see
Through school
Money
Ambition
Living for what I see as important
Important?
My desires seem so mixed up
Unrelated
I want to do
EVERYTHING!!!
Run, write, counsel, pastor, research
The list goes on
Never ends
Where is my desire?
What is my desire?
What is my purpose?
How can I stop wounding?
My wounds are healing
Slowly
--
Brendan
Not much sleep
Working late to get it done
Getting up early
I didn’t make it today
Very I tired Am
School is very busy
I can’t hold my eyes open
Running half asleep
I have energy enough to go until midnight
When I turn off my study light
Why do I wait until late night to start homework?
Why don’t I learn?
I’m tired of this work
This summer, I will have a job
Church will take more priority (AMEN!!!)
Camping, backpacking, rafting, beach, road trips
I trade school for life
Busy will I be again
Doing what I want, except a job
I wish I was five again
Hotwheels, Kindergarten, nap time
NAP TIME!!!
I walk like a zombie
I can only perform necessary bodily functions
Good night, I go to bed . . .
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
--
Brendan
Living in a chemical carefree world
Caffeinated with extra sugar
Gotta get enough to make it through the day
Life is just one more day away …
Pushing and striving just to even out
Never ahead, feeling always behind
This can’t be life, something screams inside
There much more than the glowing screen
Much more than earning more green
Much more than empty entertainment
Much more than a positive bank account
My shield is down, my sword is dusty
My shoes are in the hall closet
My belt is lying on the floor
My breastplate? I don’t know where that is anymore
My brain is battered, my helmet is off
I have no time to sharpen my sword
I have no time to put it all on
I’m running around with too much to do
All this activity, and nothing gets done
No intimacy with My Father
The world highly values the glowing screen
The world highly values earning the green
The world highly values empty entertainment
The world wants to kill and destroy
I’m being assaulted from every side
I’ve got to suit up before I’m overtaken by the tide
--
Brendan
As I see you though the window
I gaze at your beauty
I have seen breathtaking views
I have seen soft, snow covered mountains
I have glimpsed clear water lakes
These sights have been pristine and wonderful
But you put those to shame
I have seen a full moon, bright and new
Staring down at me with the twinkling stars
The quiet enchants me
My breath catches in my throat
But they pale at your smile
I have been to the ocean
The waves crash gently to the shore
I hear the wind rustling the sand grass
The sunset holds shades of color
Purple, pink, red, and orange
They reflect on the clouds, looking like soft pieces of heaven
I’d rather look upon your face
I’d trade those sunsets for the look of your deep eyes
If only for a moment, I’d like to glimpse your beauty
That would be enough
That would fill me with joy
I would not ask anything of you ever again
Your gracefulness comes from within
For your splendor is deeper than the skin
Nothing can prick the elegance
Nothing
--
Brendan
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